Jul 9, 2010
1 800 10 Jenny…What i’d do to her in 2010! – By John The Penguin
Jenny Craig made herself famous in the 1990′s using her self-created weight-loss program. All the children of the 90′s remember her catchy jingle which would change every year to adapt to the next year(1-800 94, 95, 96, 97 Jenny). Unfortunately, i was never able to get my infomercial off the ground on the things i’d do to jenny craig. Thats right…this is John the Penguin’s jenny craig rant produced in list form.
1. I’d bang her in her ass to see if some of that money she’s accumulated over the years would shit itself out.
2. I’d whip up a single one of her approved meals and fuck her on that pasta primavera until the cows (her followers) come home
3. I’d then proceed to eat the meal and cleveland steam it all over her chubby face.
4. I’m unaware of her diet…irregardless of if she is a vegetarian or what not…i’d definitely stick my big fat kosher beef frank so far down her throat that i could feel her esophagus trying to prepare it for digestion.
5. I’d get one of her clients that was unsuccessful using her program to consistently fart while i read a Dr. Atkins nutrition book with a gas mask on cover to cover twice.
6. She’d definitely get my dick squeezed between her newly formed jelly rolls for the pleasure i’ve always dreamed of.
7. I’d knock her knee up and have her shit out little knee babies which i would then refuse to claim.
8. Some armpit fucking would definitely be in store.
9. As a gift in good faith i’d give her a pearl necklace
10. After doing her in every orifice and between every crevice imaginable…i’d give her 3 whole seconds of passionate missionary so she could enjoy it too…the end 